Hm.

I've got to give it to some people, they really deserve it. The gift, you know, the sheer talent, man , that they have, it just makes comparisons so inanely redundant, you know. Now you might be thinking what's got into this raving good-for-nothing, just blabbering away, makin' no sense at all. Well, yeah, you're right, but that isn't going to make much difference to me, as you know very well by now. But anyway, I've never been one to listen too much to people who have no good words for anybody except other people they want something from, so I'm going to let you keep at it while I get myself warmed up. So, yeah, I was sayin', this is nothing to sneeze at, right? The guy was born with something but he didn't have to put so much into it to become so good at it. It's called knowing a jewel when you see one, and sometimes it's just the most goddamn hard thing to see it in yourself. Now, look at me, I've been there and I've had people totally eatin' out of my hands, you know how that goes, but I never had the kind of concentration or maybe common sense to put into what they call developing one's talents. I've always been pretty naive that way, but it's not a huge bother, I've not done that badly in life. But, sure as death, I know that if I had a half a brain I would be makin' 'em dance to my tunes all over town, you know I'm right. So, yeah, I walk into this room full of people, and in five minutes, you heard that, five minutes, I can tell who's the star of the show, who's the hanger-on and who's the timid wannabe. It's that easy, it's a gift too, but it's just as useful as an eye for useful trash in the dumpster. That's not what you might consider an appropriate example, but trust me, if you were to talk to one of them beachcombers, he would tell you the same thing, right? In any case, I was just telling you about this idea of being able to spot the man with the gift of the gab from a mile away, and I'd be lying if I didn't half envy some of those splendid men making them ladies swoon and giggle and behave like puppets on the cords of his words, flying out into the air around him, stronger and more allurin' than any of those musk perfumes you might've seen the ads about. Absolutely brilliant, I call it, and they know it too, you know, that easy charm, the way they throw their heads back when they laugh, the way they pull that jacket sleeve just a little higher to allow them to look at their expensive watch, yeah, now you notice it, don't you? It ain't no accident at all, trust me, it's a talent, and it's also a lot of practice, man. You never get quite as good at anything without beating yourself up over things once in a while. It's like this problem I have with my jokes, you know. People tell me that they were this close to bashing my head in when I tell my jokes, and I could never understand it. Of course, I get to grin behind their backs because they have no idea, absolutely no idea at all, how many times I've made fools out of 'em and they didn't even know it. As I said, it takes some doing before you can even get the hang of your own practical jokes, but if you're as good as I am, then it's only a matter of time before you have them thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and then saying, "Now what the hell was that all about?"